You just made me feel so damn special
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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