You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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