oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
