ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
