just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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