When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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