If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
