Sry I called you an 8
I'm lost and stupid without you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
