you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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