Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
