i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
