I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
