Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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