so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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