that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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