Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Randomize
