If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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