Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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