Already got asked if we're dating
I didn't shave. On purpose
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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