If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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