I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
