If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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