xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
