he thought i was a dude.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
