I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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