i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
