chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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