Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
wow bdsm is so cute
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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