You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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