His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
