those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
