his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
