All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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