we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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