i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
