im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
