Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
