I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
