Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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