We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
