suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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