Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
