wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
