Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
