Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
