I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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