I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
