her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
