Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
