@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
