my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
